Inertia demands that we keep going. That unless persuaded by another force, we continue to move in the same direction, on the same trajectory, at the same speed. I used to believe that I had no control over the things that happen to me in my life. That I was stuck on the path I was on and that I was doomed to ride it out to it’s final, unknown destination. Where ever it was. How ever good or bad it would be. I used to believe I was a victim of the laws that govern the universe and in some strange way I found relief in it. Liked it even. Maybe it was just the “it’s out of my hands” mentality and lack of responsibility that I liked or maybe it was something rooted far deeper in my psyche that I haven’t uncovered yet. Either way though, that line of thought got me no where.
I am now starting to realize that although you may not be able to take any one action that changes the course of history, your history, you can make little changes every day. And those changes, when added together can move mountains in your life. It’s not about the big picture but rather the colors it is made of. Just like the strokes of a paintbrush shape the painting, the choices you make shape your life.
So many of life’s individual events are out of your control but how you choose to react to them and how you sort through the rubble is part of what defines you as a person. It doesn’t matter how bleak or hopeless it seems, how bad or how ugly it may be, you always have a choice. You always have the means to change your trajectory. Even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time.
My dad once told me that it’s not about the quantity of time you have, it’s about the quality of it, and those words have resonated with me since. Your life is a star and the people in it, your constellations, so when you aren’t sure where to turn or which way to go, look to them to guide you. Because life can be confusing and sometimes it doesn’t make sense but just remember that on a fundamental level, it only exists and continues existing because of other life.
I heard somewhere that true happiness is happiness shared and I really believe that. If we could all just let down our guard and be vulnerable for a while I think we would find that anxiety and fear would give way to feelings of belonging and strength. That the cutthroat hierarchy that governs the human condition can be re-purposed into something truly beautiful. We can affect the picture by changing our brush strokes, I’m living proof of that.