A Place of Dreams.

It’s 6am and I’m awake. I don’t remember hearing my alarm but somehow I managed to shut it off. Today is the same but different. Just like yesterday. Just like tomorrow. I go to work, I come home, I sleep and I repeat. Save for the little gifts of time I have in between, where I build maps no one can see. Monotony for those who don’t know; bliss for those who do. I am somewhere in between, here on my ship in the sea.

I dream a future unencumbered but wonder what it means. Most nights, I walk the deck end to end making small talk memories but tonight my feet carry me to the edge. I set my hands down on the railing and look over. The waves break without a sound. There is only darkness and the wind. A deep hum, almost inaudible, rises up to greet me from the dark. This must be the place; the place of dreams.

I stare into the dark and feel it staring back. My mind is flooded with memories I don’t quite recognize and thoughts I’ll soon forget, but right now it doesn’t seem to matter. There is a gravity here, drawing me ever closer as the water below calls my name. I can’t find the courage to answer. Not yet anyway. There is something about this place, something magical, but it plays tricks on the mind. So close you can feel it lift the hairs gently from your skin, but still just out of reach.

I would be a fool to miss this opportunity but I am not sure I have what it takes to see it through. The real war is in here, not out there, and it always has been. We just talk a big game. The whirlpool in my head drains in to the sea and again I hear my name, only this time a little louder. Drowning in curiosity, I still resist the urge to respond, but without knowing why.

The moments multiply as I scour my heart for courage, watching the waves pass like clouds amidst the dark. All paths have led to this but somehow I’m still afraid. Afraid to know but equally afraid not to. Endless outcomes spin tires inside my head and I wonder if it will all work out as I planned; as I wanted, or if I am really the best to judge that in the first place.

Suddenly my attention is pulled away and my mind lands with a lone bird atop the lookout. I wonder what she is doing here? So far from home and way out to sea. What long journey brought her here? What drove her from home? These questions and more appear and disappear like passing signs; to fast to read, and I watch as she drops from her perch to join me at the railing.

She watches as I turn my gaze toward the waves, stewing amidst the apprehension running rampant in my mind. The hum rising from below drives my train of thought to a moment of clarity and suddenly I realize… She came here for me. All this way….for me. It must be fate, that we should meet adrift at sea, here on the precipice of dreams.

She gifts me courage as I climb the railing and stand balanced upon the edge of a blade. There are different lives on either side but which one do I choose? I extend my hand and she flies to meet it, grasping tight around my finger. Time stops with us inside and for a moment the world stands still. I lift my hand to my heart and feel her head against my chest. She looks up at me to reassure as we take a breath and jump.